My Way: Charles Balcer
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Charles Balcer has just recently dropped out of work and into life. He’s currently based in NYC.
Dhrumil couldn’t have asked me to write this at a stranger time in my
life. I’d been thinking all week long that about quitting my job. It’s
something I’ve been contemplating for awhile now. Blame raw foods. It
has a knack for making you to want get more involved in this holistic
way of living. Suddenly, money didn’t seem so important anymore. I
found myself thinking more about fresh sunshine, clean water, foraging
in the wild… eating raw has a way of connecting you to nature like
nothing else. And I was filled with a desire to help others get
healthier by changing the way they eat. I’m not the only one who felt
this way either. Philip quit his job and now he’s traveling around the
country giving talks and working on a book. Anthony left NYC to do his
permaculture project in Minnesota. Even our beloved Dhru gave up his
successful consulting business to focus on this lifestyle full-time.
I’m just the latest in a long line of people to finally “get it.”
So being at my job really wasn’t an option anymore. I began feeling
suffocated there. I never got a break for lunch. The group I worked
in was constantly swamped, so I’d have to eat lunch at my desk while I
worked. (Eating my “rabbit food,” as my coworkers called it.) I was
watching Chris Rock on HBO recently and he made a joke about how
working at a job that doesn’t give you an hour’s break for lunch really
blows — even prisoners on death row get a full sixty minutes to eat.
Makes you think, right? And not getting any sunshine at all disturbed
me. I’d find myself getting to work early and not going outside again
until it was time to leave… when it was already dark. I’m confident
my Vitamin D levels are pretty low. Another thing that irritated me to no
end were my coworkers constantly spraying chemically-toxic Windex and
Lysol every freakin’ day, or having to smell their grease-laden fast
food lunches. It was a poisonous environment, both literally and
figuratively, and I had to get out of there for myself.
Having said all that, this wasn’t an easy decision. I’ve been doing
this same job for 13 years: ten years with my current employer and
three years doing the same thing for another company. I had no backup
plan either. I just wanted out. I wanted time to think about my
future. But it’s scary to just up and leave such security, especially
with the economy in the sad state that it’s in. And it’s not like I
have tons of savings to live off of either. So why am I telling you
all this? Because I want you to understand the frazzled state of mind
I’ve been in lately, especially during this momentous week in my life.
Had Dhru asked me to write this column the previous week, you’d have
read the same boring menu from me every day: lots of salads, lots of
fruit, lots of smoothies. But the stress of my decision got to me and
my diet suffered as a result. I turned to a lot of “junk” raw food for
comfort.
Wednesday, Day One
I hadn’t done much food shopping in the past week, so I didn’t have
much food to bring with me to work. I ate an orange, a mango, two
apples, and some brazil nuts. I normally have quite a bit more fruit
to bring with me. I also brought some lemons with me (as I usually do
– I buy lemons by the sack) and drank lots of lemon water. That night
I came home and ate the rest of the spinach chips I had dehydrated the
previous night. It’s a fairly simple recipe: baby spinach leaves,
flaxseed oil, sea salt, garlic powder, and cayenne nutritional yeast,
to give it that cheesy “flava.” I also made 32 ounces of juice, using
dandelions, kale stems left over from the kale chips I had made earlier
in the week, ginger, two lemons, and two apples.
Thursday, Day Two
For work I brought another orange, another mango, some grape tomatoes,
and more brazil nuts. I also drank a lot of water, but, unfortunately,
I was out of lemons. At the end of the day, I told my manager Miles
that I was thinking about handing in my two week’s notice tomorrow. I
explained my reasons and he completely understood and wished me the
best of luck. Miles is a cool guy. We used to work together at my
previous company. After work I headed into NYC and did a little food
shopping at Lifethyme and stopped at Sal Anthony’s for a few treats. I
like to stock up on raw snacks which I keep in the house for when I’m
in the mood for something sweet — the advantage of living in the NYC
area. A couple bites is usually enough to satisfy me. I ate one
chocolate chip cookie from Sal’s. Later that evening, I made some
quinoa. Quinoa’s the only food I still eat cooked, which I’ll have
maybe once or twice a month. I don’t eat it warm, though; I let it
cool before eating. I usually add a little lemon juice, baby spinach
leaves, onions, garlic, a little sea salt, and sometimes some cherry
tomatoes or chopped up celery, although I neglected to write down what
I did that particular evening.
Friday, Day Three
The big day. I had informed Miles that I’d hand in my letter of
resignation. So did I do it? Nope. Totally chickened out. My heart
was pounding all day. Then I started thinking what I could do to get
fired instead; at least that way I’d have unemployment checks pouring
in. But nothing sprang to mind. I ate more grape tomatoes, more
brazil nuts, and two more apples. When I got home, I ate the corn on
the cob I had gotten at Sal Anthony’s. Simplest recipe ever: marinate
in apple cider or red wine vinegar, squeeze some lemon juice, and add
some seasoning on top. I think Sal adds rosemary, but don’t quote me.
I’m going to try duplicating it for the next potluck I attend. I also
had some quinoa left over from the previous day. I was planning on
making a large juice or smoothie, but as the evening wore on, I really
started freaking out over my future and I ended up raiding my fridge of
all the raw treats I had stored in there: a few bites of the cinnamon
apple granola bar from Lifethyme, Oreo cookie ice cream from Pure Food
& Wine that had been sitting in my freezer, and a slice of
chocolate cake, also purchased at Sal’s. Yeah, not a good night of
eating.
Saturday, Day Four
I woke up and drank lots and lots and lots of lemon water, to flush out
the previous night’s binge. I also ate a 16 ounce container of
strawberries. (I wish you could buy them without the plastic
container.) For lunch I had a large arugula salad with an avocado and
lemon juice. Later in the evening I had another container of grape
tomatoes (I eat oodles of them, in case you can’t tell) and some
sunflower seeds.
Sunday, Day Five
Lights, cameras, action! Today I filmed a student movie with Matt and
Amy, two fellow raw foodies. It was a horror movie, filmed by Lily,
yet another raw foodie. Thank you, GI2MR, for introducing me to so
many friends. Matt and Amy played teenaged sweethearts. I, of course,
portrayed the evil monster who stole their souls at the end. You could
tell I was evil because I wore a strange looking hat and plastic
Dracula fangs. I woke up that morning and ate an apple. During the
course of filming, I had an orange and a few bananas at Lily’s place. After we were done, Matt and Amy and I walked over to Bonobo’s and
enjoyed some salads. I ordered the Gorilla salad (their largest size)
which comes with an assortment of greens and your choice of toppings.
I went with macadamia pate, celery, onions, sprouts, and an agave mustard dressing. Then I ordered a small container of durian ice cream which we all shared.
Monday, Day Six
I had prepared all weekend for this day. I was definitely going to
turn to turn in my resignation letter. There was no doubt about it. I
had even told Matt and Amy that it was a done deal. And, once again, I
punked out. I even sat at my desk and typed the letter, but I didn’t
have the guts to turn it in. Miles came up to me at the end of the day
and asked if I had changed my mind. I said I was still thinking over
my options. The truth, however, was that I was way too scared,
thinking about a future without any security whatsoever. Who jumps out
of a plane without a parachute, I kept telling myself. My pulse was
high the entire day. As for what I ate, I had another large container
of strawberries, a spring salad with an avocado, lemon water, and had a
few bites of a raw chocolate bar that had been sitting in my
refrigerator.
Tuesday, Day Seven
I walked into work and sat at my desk. I sat there for a few minutes,
just sorta staring at my computer monitor. It’s now or never, I told
myself. And so I stood up, grabbed the letter, and handed it to
Miles. He took it and shook my hand. Then I had to wait in limbo for
the next few hours while my fate was being decided by the higher-ups.
Sometimes they’ll let you go immediately if they think there’s a danger
of you stealing information from their systems to pass along to the
next employer. Miles explained to them that I was leaving the industry
completely, so there was no cause for worry. As for what I ate, I had
a salad and some water and that was it. My nerves were way too shot
that day for me to eat much. It was a weird combination of being both
nervous as heck and relieved at the same time.
And that’s my story, people. It’s odd how this My Way thing worked,
the way I quit on the last day of this tale. I truly didn’t plan that
(honest!), but hey, it made for a satisfying narrative arc. Like I
said, I don’t know what my future holds. My parents weren’t too
pleased with my decision, but I know in my heart that I made the right
choice. I was hanging out at Vanessa’s place once, the awesome lady
behind Gnosis Chocolate, and she has a magnet on her refrigerator which
reads: “Leap, and the net will appear.” Those words have stayed with
me during this entire process. Here’s to the future…